By Mary Cipriani, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (mcipriani@sdicouples.com)

Most of us have experienced some very difficult and possibly traumatic experiences. A lot of times we keep the experiences inside us under lock and key. When we choose to open up and share our painful experiences, it can transform moments of intense pain into one of connection and healing.

To begin to talk about and share our difficult times, which does not take away our hurt and immediately heal our emotional wounds, gives us a safe space to face and deal with our feelings in a healthy and nontoxic way. When we have the courage to break our emotional silence it can be a turning point in our relationships and gives us a whole new way of coping with our pain. In addition, when we share our stories, with a trusted other, it can connect us in a deep and meaningful way. We know from research that turning to someone we trust can actually increase our own chance of healing. The pain might not go away but in those moments, we realize we are not alone and that others “get it” and are there for us.

Give yourself time to process your feelings and start talking to someone you trust who is responsive and nonjudgmental to your pain. It is so important to find others we can share our feelings with and to take time to listen to their stories of difficult times as well. We all need help and when we help others it can help us to heal as well.