By Marlee Cornue, M.S., Associate Professional Clinical Counselor, APCC# 9000, Employed by SDICF and Supervised by Mary Cipriani, LMFT #32742 (mcornue@sdicouples.com)

Marriages go through many different stages. When you say “I do” it's impossible to know what the future holds for your new family, and when couples become parents they often find new marital challenges. Children require a great deal of their parents' emotional and physical energy. If you find yourself having less energy for yourself and your partner, here are some ways to be intentional about your marriage that don’t require more than you can give.

1- Make time to have fun- Be intentional about putting phones away and tell your spouse something funny that happened to you that day. Try and be playful together, it resets your brain to be in a better space.

2- Tell your partner what you appreciate about them- Words go a long way, especially when you're overextended. Make it a point to notice something your spouse is doing well everyday and tell them.

3- Touch your partner- Hugs and kisses when you come home from work can help to reconnect you after a long day. Be mindful of coming in the door and only hugging your children or going right to your to do list. Affection is key to a healthy marriage.

4- Notice that special thing you do that makes your partner happy- Reflect on what's going well in your marriage and do more of that! Trust your instincts as you know yourself better than anyone else.

And finally, seek help if you feel like you would benefit from it. I so wish that wedding registries came with a counseling fund option, because getting in a good cycle and understanding your partner and yourself from the beginning is the best thing you can do for your marriage. What better gift to give a family than two healthy, happy communicating adults?