By Marc Sherman, M.A., Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT #116508, Employed by SDICF and Supervised by Mary Cipriani, LMFT #32742 (msherman@sdicouples.com)

Money is one of the largest issues in a marriage. Couples will constantly argue over money and the household finances. There is usually a spender and one who is the saver in the relationship. In most marriages, one spouse often makes more money than the other. Often times there is only one breadwinner and the other spouse is the homemaker, cannot work due to a disability or tends to the children and/or extended family members.

The key to having a successful marriage with money is having successful communication around money. Couples must have the ability to be able to talk and clearly communicate thoughts, ideas and habits around money. Couples must be aligned on how the money will be spent, invested, saved, divvied out, etc. The money mindset in a marriage should be that it is “our’ money not “my” money. When a couple can realize and understand that whatever money comes into the household is for the benefit of the family is when growth happens. There should never be “my money” or “your money” in the context of a healthy, successful relationship.

Some couples have one account and others have a “his” account, a “her” account and a “joint” account. Every couple has different ways of handling money and that is okay. It is the clear, thoughtful and respectful communication around money which leads to a peaceful existence among couples. Setting clear boundaries and expectations around finances is extremely important when deciding on those large purchases and vacations as well as everyday expenses. When it comes to finances within a marriage everything should be discussed no matter how large or small the amount to ensure long-lasting harmony, love and partnership.